psomaster437

nothing has gone my way period for the past 2 fucking days. i know sometimes things just go wrong but serously why all this shit so suddenly?

i know one thing wasnt my fault but that doesnt mean it didnt effect me.

basicly my back is sore as fuck. my left shoulder blade specificaly. and my lower back is killing me again and this time it wasnt cus i sat funny. this time its cus my dad made me carry huge bags of rocks for a french drain we are having to put in so our crawlspace stops flooding. and yes im lifting with my knees not my back. painkillers help but they only do so much when a major muscle is sore from use.

my left eye is a bit blurry from what my sister did to me. basicly i grabbed her suddenly using my left arm and tried to pick her up, knew she was about to swing her head back at me so i ducked my head down, guess where i got hit? right behind the ear right above the muscles for your neck run. shes fine but i was so fucking made i almost decked her. it took alot to not just swing cus i was already poised to do it. i instead yelling that freaking hurt since i cant curse in this house, and then slammed the door with all i had and let my parents deal with her. no idea what they did.

and now im currently sitting here waiting to talk with kayla and hoping shes not mad at me. i doubt she is but my anxiety wont letme think otherwise easily.

so yeah, i fucking hate my life right now and nothing is going good period. best thing today was finding out a game comes out in a few weeks, and thats sad.

now to go and try to do something so i dont sit here and think about it all.

so this morning i thought i had a kidney stone to pass. while trying to see if i could get it to pass i felt for it and guess what, NOTHING. so then i waited for a bit and went pee again cus its been feeling like ive been having to pee all day cus of this. and well there was blood. not much mind you, one or 2 drops max. so now i know its an infection. the blood stopped within an hour so no worries now. now i have to not drink soda, no sugary items, lots and LOTS of water, and take pills for it to help.

im buying a 360 from a coworker tomorrow. gonna ask him to show that it works. its gonna be only 150, with a 60 gig drive, a controller, the cords, a power cord for the controllow, a headset, and no games but he didnt have but 2. halo 3 and a fightnight game. :P. buying odst tomorrow also most likely from target for a discount.

also having huge headaches but i dunno why, probly unrelated.

i get to take my sisters to a softball game that is 20 minutes away, easy right? appearently its an hour away and my dad lied and now they cant get another right and im likely gonna have to sit through the game now. so yeah, not fun on 4 hours of sleep, be back around 6 or later.

basicly my day, wake up at 750, leave at 810 for work, get back at 115 from work(short cleaning day), then sleep from 12 till 2, get told to pick up sister from target which wasnt even frecking planned. then take 2 sisters to softball game across town which i didnt agree to and have to spend all day out or sleeping and get back aorund 6 or so. not fun and im super miffed.

oh, and did i mention i was the lucky one that had to pay 124.62 bucks for the internet/cable this month? yeah....

so last night, i had a strange dream last night. kayla came to ga and lived only a few minutes away. i want and visited her and we hugged and we both sayed it was just as we thought it would be. we talked and i took her home and she stayed in ga for a week at a relatives house or something. she looked like she did in her older pics.

yeah, strange dream.

the last few days of playing wow, EPIC! only word for it. lots of fun times and lawls and had some noobs being stupid.

works been gay and long and tiring. just the way my job works not all jobs are as hectic or strange as mine.

thats it for this journal realy. hope kayla gets on tonight so we can pwn some more guys.

It has certainly be a , strange, few days. wow has been epic. ignore my bad spelling with grammar and the no caps btw :P. been spending a bit too much gold in wow lately XD. mainly on kaylas profs ingame. but meh, its realy helped and i just gotta farm dailys more diligently when im not on ally side. almost enough for the pet with the marks from dailys. dang me forgetting to do them all and every day :P. aw well, Ive gotten quite a bit of gold out of questing. its awesome when i dont have to spend it. then again its even more awesome when you spend it on others <3.

kayla admitted she was starting to get out of wack tonight and for the rest of the week. aww well, just gotta be even nicer XD.is that even possible? :P. we shall find out. i hope kayla feels better soon. i dont know what id do without her and wow. actually i do know, NOT MUCH!. :P <3 you :P

anyways, im yammering on and probly shouldnt say some of this but oh well. time to head to bed since work is gonna wear me out in the morning. then i call kayla after work, then i farm her 5 bijillion herbs, then i nap, then i farm her 5 bijillion ore of each kind, then i call her again, maybe, then hopefully shes either come over and we've pwnt the game again. or i nap and farm tomorrow if that doesnt happen and she doesn't come over.

no matter how i look at it, the last few days/week has been epicly fun and interesting to say the very least. i cant wait for more playtime and more just having lots of fun regardless of if we wiped or the quests drag on. woo for wow and best friends in it.

  pieceout im wiped my minds wondering yada yada.

things have been so hectic, kinda. i got a job finaly. working at ruby tuesdays. ive eben staying up realy late playing wow which is a blast. even more of a blast when its with kayla and even more so when on mic with her <3. now to go to sleep for a shift at 8 am >.> didnt get to realy play wow tonight realy sadly. kayla was busy i think but things happen. i hope to play more wow soon. now to try and sleep with a splitting headache and then get up for work at 8 and be there by 9. stupid full black outfit :P. oh also, refer to kiekies post about my freind. epic lawlz was had. still like the girl but meh she isnt for me now cept for the body. oh well. im off now i keep rambling.

might not be on for a few days cus of them. yeah

thats all i need in this world, friendship. i could go for on forever on how much it means to me. i would glady give my life for my 2 best freinds. and one of them knows this very well. id do anything for either of them without question. friendship isnt a word to throw around so easily. its a bond that can never be broken. once a freind always a freind. even if you never talk to them again or are on bad terms with them or were once freinds and hate each other now, you will still care for them. i found that part out most recently with someone.

im always here for my freinds. they can talk to me freely about anything without worry. i dont judge my freinds on a simple chat. its an everlasting bond that will grew stronger over the years. someone very close to me should know this very well.

the freind who knews this the best should feel free to bug me anytime about anything no matter where we are or what we are doing she should feel free to chat with me about anything.

being more then a freind is even more important to me. those that are close and are loved ones should always be held close. if things are rough hold them tighter. support each other and always talk if things bug you. always be honest.

being honest is realy one of the best things in a freindship. if your honest from the start things should be fine for a long time. i personaly love honesty. if your always honest with me i will always be honest with you.

so the last few days/week has been interesting to say the least. went yo momocon today with 2 of my sisters and alyse who is my oldest sisters best freind. it was fun, i guarded them from random glomps(hugs its a strange term to some). kept them from getting seperated. we ate lunch in the car. best part of the whole ting was the line to register just to get in!(sarcasm in the extreme) we waited for over an hour in line and then alyses freind calls and says he got there like 5 mins ago and already registered and was waiting. we were like, how? he sayed they set up a new registration booth a bit ago appearently and we all were like, REALY? we waited in our line cus we were next in line for our booth so freck him.

he stalked us after we found him, more like he stalked alyse which was CREEPY. he finaly went away after he was told he freaked out bekah(my midle aged sister) and we didnt hear from him again at the con.

alyse spent the night last night for momocon. neither of us could sleep so we sat and watched videos online together after we ran outa funny pics i had saved. stayed up till about 2:45 talking and watching vids.

have been hanging around the house doing almost nothing lately. chris has been in alabama for the last week and i had NOTHING to do the whole week but browse the web or sit here basicly. to play some wow is an option but i just dont want to get back into it at this time espec not without my best freind playing with me. its just not the same afterwards. sure it COULD be fun but with a best freind its WAY more fun no matter what your doing.

now i shall head to bed. im wiped as i only slept for 5 hours last night and i should be wide awake still. next post should have pics if i get them from the camara we had at momocon of all the weird people and the good costumes.

all and all, this wek was way different.

ive had fun the last week or 2 and tryed to make the best of it. i got to talk to a freind a couple days in a row. now she wont answer ><. oh well things have to move on and i knew it was coming. eventualy but didnt expect it to be this soon.

things have been hectic with my family lately. we have to switch our fridge AGAIN now that we found someone to fix it. we used a neighers that we got when they moved out. so yeah we switched fridges 2 times now the 2nd time was back to the one we had. it was a 30 min switch that turned into a 2 almost 3 hour thing for us as things kept going wrong.

STILL cant find a job as othing is hiring around here and the unemployment rate contenues to climb and not even fast food places are hiring now. nothing for 6 months. im down to only a tiny bit left and im holding onto that cash for emergencys.

things are going ok for the most part. i might try calling her back tomorrow. who knows. things are sad and down realy. why should i lie about things being ok. i hate where im at right now.

i got a few good gifts. only a few gifts anyways :P. i got a new pair of speakers to replace my 8 year old speakers from someone elses trash ><. a nice dress belt. a shirt(parents suck XD), a coffee mug(in a stocking? realy now?), another set of speakers(people didnt ask what others got others ><), and a single psp game. and a mcdonalds giftcard. yeah. small christmas this year. only one game. i already had almost everything i wanted. the things i have couldnt be bought. like the freindsships i have, the time ive spent with them, and the sentimmental value of those memorys.

i did get to chat with a freind finaly :P. it seems like everything is ok for the most part.

now to head to bed. im tired.

doesnt matter now.

so today went ok for the most part. neighbors dog tried to rape me again while i was taking it on a walk for a pee. his dick shall forever be scarred into my brain as a burning red.... eww...  oh well. he scratched me pretty good jumping on me. it wont leave a mark overnight tho.

other then that put in a few resumes and job apps this morning and then felt sick and came home after a while. a few looked good others not so much. oh well they probly wont call me back like always. hope kayla gets a few calls tho tomorrow after she puts some in. maybe an interveiw and hopefully even a job for her :D:D:D.

then to end the night i was saying something to kayla on msn and msn froze on me. mid sentece of typing. dont know if she left me an offline messege or anything. signed into a site online and didnt see any offline but tested it and it wont let you have offline messeges. just great. hope she didnt leave me anythig big or something. i was gonna tell her goodluck tomorrow with putting out resumes and all that. maybe an interveiw and a job even :D:D:D. goodluck kayla :D:D.

and to top off the day i got strep throat somehow D:. yeah its gonna suck the next 2 days. well more time to be online and talk with kayla and play games  with her when shes on :D:D:D.

well i should probly head to bed now. hope to talk to kayla or rosa in the morning and tomorrow :D

Today was fun and all. Mowed the lawn then messed up the lawnmower so now it wont work right. oh well gonna have to fix it tomorrow probly. found the gas leek tho FINALY.

been wowing it up for almost a full week now. been REALY fun doing so. hope i can contenue to do so tomorrow. well time to go to disconnect the router so i cant be online anymore tonight. stupid parents trying to control it. oh well. tomorrow i can stay up as late as i want was the deal.

night all and hope your weeks been good also.

how fun its been the last few days. been playing wow with kayla almost nonstop and then had a blast.

on another note, found this funny as heck video of furrys and star trek i loled HARD at it.

http://www.g4tv.com/attackoftheshow/moviesandtv/64123/Klingons-Vs-Furries-Requiem.html

hope you all like it. gonna change my account view to freinds only shortly and then you have to post on a public thing to get added. exactly like what kiezorz has.

well time to go mow the lawn. stupid chores.

   My mom wants to me stay away from anything with fur in the name woo. Like im going to listen. I should be able to make my own choices on what i like. I like furry ie im going to look at furry art. Im 18 i should be able to choose what i do. So forget her.

Also on a side note, feel like utter crap right now for no appearent reason.

Also got ALOT on my mind right now. so im stressed and probly feeling sick cus of it. Cant eat or think well cus of it.

Oh well, gonna be on and off today hope i dont miss anyone getting on.

i cant take take all this much longer. ive been holding my emotion inside for way to long. ive got no one to let them out to. no one to talk to about it. ive got nothing. i need someone in my life. ive even prayed to god but nothings changed. the only thing that has is i lost my job when i asked god for something to change.

and to top it off i dont know if my best freind is mad at me or something else. she actualy yelled shutup at me. id go crazy if i lost her for good.
im probly jumping to conclusions on the loosing part tho. but i wont know till later.

all of this is just adding up so fast. im lost and lonely. no one to guide me. i never had anyone to teach me certian things. ive been sheltered most of my life. i know more things then most people my age do but that doesnt mean i know what to do. most of the time im guessing and get lucky. that luck is gonna run out sometime soon and i know it. if i could ascend to some higher being and still be in this world i would at a heartbeat. i just want to escape all this pain.